How would you respond if your child felt safe to express their sexuality diversity?
Aug 07, 2023
In my information sessions, parents often ask me how they can best support their children if they were to tell them that they are not cis-gender or heterosexual.
If your child feels safe and supported enough to talk about their diverse sexual orientation and or gender identity to you… CONGRATULATIONS! You should be proud that they feel safe enough to share this with you, especially because not every child has a safe adult they can disclose to or a safe environment that accepts everyone for who they are.
Hopefully you can be happy and celebrate their unique version of themselves. Some parents might be concerned about how to best support or keep their child safe. Some parents may feel and react with shock, disbelief, fear, anger, grief or shame when their child initially discloses. You might be feeling alone in the situation, or that your world has been suddenly turned upside down. You might be doubting yourself, or full of questions. We live in a heteronormative society, meaning that the baseline assumption is that everyone is heterosexual (straight, attracted to the opposite genders of only male and female) and cis-gender (where their gender matches their sex assigned at birth and is only either male or female). Some parents often assume (and even hope) that their children follow this ‘social norm’ and are heterosexual and cis-gender. However, this social norm is outdated and not true. A recent Australian study found that 26.5% of respondents aged 15 to 18 indicated some level of attraction to the same or multiple genders. Only 73.5% of young people indicated that they were exclusively heterosexual.
So this inaccurate assumption is not a true reflection of human sexual diversity and may cause harm to sexual and gender diverse people who may feel they cannot truly be themselves.
Parents reading this may have children who are sexually diverse. It’s important you are prepared to raise your child in a safe, loving home where they are free to be who they are. Make sure you are informed about the LGBTIQA+ community, teach your children about human diversity, respect, uniqueness, kindness, empathy and acceptance. Ensure your everyday language is inclusive and expansive - such as referring to romantic/intimate relationships as non-gendered. It’s important that your children hear you speak about our LGBTIQA+ community in a positive and respectful manner. This will help pave the way for a more natural evolution for the child who is not heterosexual or cis-gendered to disclose this information to you.
Here is a Podcast with more ideas for responding positively to your child.
Two resources:
